1. all of a sudden a big black pudding came floating through the air exc
You are about to be struck during a pillow fight ● 14 Mar ’21 >
2. sherman n
Act of self-pleasure ● 27 Feb ’23 >
3. oh dear… how sad… never mind exp
I acknowledge your unhappiness, but consider it overstated ● 14 Jan ’22 >
4. eh wallah exp
Appears equivalent to “and there you have it” ● 21 Nov ’21 >
5. betty swallocks n
Perspiration of the gentleman’s area ● 01 Jul ’22 >
6. dance of the bogbrush fairies n
Dance of the sugar plum fairies from Tchaikovsky’s 1892 ballet The Nutcracker ● 01 Mar ’22 >
7. Goat Herders’ Guide to the Galaxy (or GHGTTG) n
The christian bible ● 05 Dec ’21 >
8. generation J n
Baby boomers, those of us who grew up with affordable housing, generous pensions and free university ● 31 Oct ’21 >
9. Barley-sugar Legs n
His sisters’ pet name for Dad ● 29 Jan ’22 >
10. Betelgwayzay n
Betelgeuse (aka α Orionis), red supergiant and 10ᵗʰ brightest star in the sky ● 09 Mar ’22 >
11. chilly bin n
Portable icebox ● 20 Jan ’23 >
12. fox’s puss n
Faux pas ● 12 Mar ’21 >
13. Aunty Mark n
Uncle Mark ● 25 Mar ’21 >
14. downside up adj
Upside down ● 05 Feb ’22 >
15. Great Aunt Pottymouth n
Naomi ● 16 May ’21 >
16. Gnomey Alewife n
WordPerfect 4.2’s spellcheck suggestion for Naomi Iliff ● 31 Aug ’22 >
17. anti-cretinous adj
Anti-tetanus ● 26 May ’21 >
18. body coddler n
Sleeveless coat, or gilet ● 20 Mar ’21 >
19. hatches, matches and despatches n
The Births, Marriages & Deaths column of a newspaper, the avid perusal of which becomes the first priority of some when it thuds on the mat ● 10 Mar ’22 >
20. bum of the flightle bee exp
Flight of the bumblebee, the Rimsky-Korsakov orchestral piece ● 22 Feb ’21 >
21. brown katies n
Bronchitis ● 25 May ’21 >
22. dere ’tis! exc
After many hours’ travel towards the seaside, there at last is the actual sea! ● 19 Mar ’21 >
23. a pint of water’s a pound and a quarter, except in US where it’s less exp
Counter-mnemonic to Americans’ wholly misleading “A pint’s a pound the whole world around” ● 21 Aug ’23 >
24. dangleway n
London’s Meridian Skyway cable car system (later known as Emirates Air Line¹) that crosses the Thames near the Millennium Dome (later known as O₂ Arena). By extension, any such cable car system ● 05 Mar ’22 >
25. 14155 n
Iliff ● 16 Apr ’21 >
26. I takin’ my sack and my boots exp
I’ve had enough of this ● 26 Feb ’21 >
27. chained to the oar of a magnificent galley exp
Your humble labours in pursuit of a noble objective do not go unnoticed ● 16 May ’21 >
28. drafty draft n
Precursor to a draft (of documents) ● 29 Jul ’21 >
29. chutney n
Lightning ● 07 Apr ’21 >
30. Father Twiss-Twiss n
Saint Nicholas / Santa Claus / Père Noël / Father Christmas ● 29 Dec ’22 >
31. fustercluck n
A mess resulting from several mistakes compounding each other ● 11 Mar ’21 >
32. fraggleflops n
A particular kind of shoe, with very little potential as a weapon, issued to prison inmates ● 25 May ’21 >
33. flat out, like a lizard drinking adj
Flat out ● 27 Feb ’22 >
34. boinga n
Kangaroo, especially when in motion ● 15 Nov ’22 >
35. flock of sparrows n
A particularly satisfying and comprehensive defecation ● 10 Jul ’22 >
36. fire eng truck n
Fire engine ● 30 Mar ’21 >
37. NQOTD exp
Not quite our type, darling ● 26 Feb ’21 >
38. have speaks v
Discuss ● 16 Apr ’21 >
39. hey little horsey, don’t you stop verse
Call back to the song:
Hey little horsey, don’t you stop,
Just let your hooves go clicketty clop.
Tail go swish, wheels go round
Giddy up we’re homeward bound. ● 08 Mar ’22 >
40. bumnuts n
Eggs ● 27 Feb ’22 >
41. ahiggit ahugget exp
That person is taking self-deprecation to extremes ● 16 May ’21 >
42. ambliance n
Ambulance ● 04 Mar ’22 >
43. alibaba n
The laundry basket at Greenmantle ● 27 May ’21 >
44. Golliwog railway n
The Festiniog (now Ffestiniog) Railway in N Wales ● 25 May ’21 >
45. fly squatter n
Fly swatter ● 27 Feb ’22 >
46. a touch of the don’t-want-to-goes exp
Reluctance to go somewhere ● 19 Mar ’21 >
47. graunty / gruncle n
Great aunty / Great uncle ● 25 Mar ’21 >
48. black-coated workers n
Prunes ● 11 Aug ’21 >
49. AFM n
Anger management ● 23 Nov ’21 >
50. beefa leefa n
Beef olives ● 02 Mar ’22 >
51. as thick as an elephant bap adj
Not conspicuously astute ● 07 Nov ’22 >
52. are bears Catholic? exp
Yes ● 25 Nov ’21 >
53. get aht t’road ye silly beggar! exc
Cease obstructing my passage! ● 27 May ’21 >
54. 81 exp
Response to “night-night!” ● 19 Mar ’21 >
55. bumbag aloo n
Bombay aloo ● 25 Mar ’21 >
56. dunny diver n
Plumber ● 27 Feb ’22 >
57. aber eine wurst hatte zwei ende exp
But a sausage has two ends ● 20 Jan ’23 >
58. Aunty Brute n
Naomi’s name for Aunt Dorothy ● 04 Mar ’22 >
59. aha, Rasputin, the mad monk, climbing up those Russian steppés! exc
Here is the rice pudding. All hail the rice pudding ● 04 Mar ’22 >
60. elsan position n
An inelegant skiing posture remininscent of squatting upon a lavatory ● 17 Jul ’22 >
61. B I tish n
A woman considered to be mean, overbearing or contemptible ● 19 Mar ’22 >
62. do not the gate exp
Don’t obstruct the gate ● 23 Nov ’21 >
63. flutterby n
Butterfly ● 11 Mar ’21 >
64. emPHAHsis on the wrong syllAHble exp
Emphasis on the wrong syllable ● 04 Mar ’22 >
65. gubby n
Car sporting a GB plate when seen abroad ● 14 Mar ’21 >
66. flappyfishogram n
Echocardiogram, an ultrasound scan of the heart ● 29 Jul ’21 >
67. Fabrézé n
The stench suppressant Fabreze ● 08 Mar ’22 >
68. daddy socks n
A technique of putting on a sock whereby the heel is pulled up through the leg so that the sole can be placed over the foot ● 30 Mar ’21 >
69. amtriguous adj
A phrase or utterance capable of three different interpretations ● 24 Apr ’23 >
70. arsnip n
Parnsip ● 08 Mar ’22 >
71. the pit is in exp
The fruit still contains its pip or stone ● 31 Aug ’22 >
72. Bildad the Shuhite n
The shortest man in the christian bible ● 18 Apr ’22 >
73. a kangaroo loose in the top paddick adj
Not wholly in command of events ● 27 May ’21 >
74. bumhug n
Humbug (the hard minty sweet) ● 24 Mar ’21 >
75. flosh n
With qualifier: fizzy liquid. Without qualifier: elderflosh (qv) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
76. for Ron adj
For later on ● 19 Aug ’21 >
77. empty sugar bags exp
What couples actually say when they whisper sweet nothings ● 27 May ’21 >
78. brunty adj
Brunette ● 30 Mar ’21 >
79. cast nasturtiums exp
Cast aspersions ● 02 Feb ’22 >
80. coffinated adj
Sold in a sealed punnet (of food) ● 27 Jul ’21 >
81. bumpity bolliko n
Collision ● 03 Apr ’21 >
82. good girl, Daddy exp
You have my approval, Father ● 25 Mar ’21 >
83. get off and milk it! exp
I am not very impressed with your vehicle ● 17 Mar ’21 >
84. collapsize v
Capsize ● 04 Mar ’22 >
85. deg v
Water ● 29 Dec ’22 >
86. cuddly tick bird n
Hand-crafted birthday present for Naomi comprising a long white-bodied, yellow beaked, soft and cuddle-able tick bird, with appallingly prickly feet fashioned out of wire covered in sticky black insulating tape ● 01 Mar ’22 >
87. Cornish nasty n
1) A poorly made Cornish pasty.
2) A Cornish pasty
…depending on your point of view ● 23 Mar ’21 >
88. East Ham adj
Mad ● 21 Mar ’22 >
89. BKJ adj
Bright, keen & jolly ● 24 Feb ’21 >
90. EBI adj
Even better if… ● 03 Mar ’22 >
91. Depeche Mode n
The retailer Decathlon ● 06 Jul ’21 >
92. and the band played Believe it if you like exp
I don’t believe it ● 19 Mar ’22 >
93. bloody great balloons exp
Callback to the desperate cry of a vendor of oversized balloons outside Madame Tussauds on a chilly spring day: “Balloons! Balloons! Bloody great balloons!” ● 18 Apr ’22 >
94. hankerchoof n
Handkerchief ● 03 Feb ’22 >
95. elephants and teaspoons exp
Callback to the motivational phrase “How do you eat an elephant with a teaspoon? One spoon at a time” ● 17 Jul ’22 >
96. bet that’s cooled his biryani down a bit exp
He seems to find that drink refreshing ● 27 May ’21 >
97. birdy num-num n
Bird seed ● 11 Jan ’22 >
98. glass cherries n
Glacé cherries ● 27 Feb ’22 >
99. de petits pois n
Two small pears… if your French is as bad as Mark’s was ● 10 Apr ’21 >
100. Fiddlywaxeye n
Imaginary third person when sharing something out between two people – the person counting out ends up with ⅔ and their good-natured companion with ⅓ ● 11 Mar ’21 >
101. big crisp n
Poppadom ● 09 Mar ’22 >
102. do you want me to write a letter? exp
Mum’s response to an offspring complaining about unfairness or strife at school, and later at work ● 07 Nov ’21 >
103. goodndit n
One of the good guys in a story ● 29 Jul ’21 >
104. flippin’ ug adj
Unprepossessing ● 11 Jan ’22 >
105. dusty end n
The part of a violin’s fingerboard closer to the bridge than first position, where non-classical players rarely venture ● 04 Sep ’21 >
106. code yellow exp
A pee, or going for a pee, or in need of a pee ● 25 May ’21 >
107. gorillas n
The key of G major ● 02 Mar ’22 >
108. fast thinking walk n
A solo walk ● 12 Jul ’22 >
109. all the way round sir? exp
Literally “shall I serve you everything?” Can be used to imply a hint of gluttony ● 06 Nov ’21 >
110. don’t bandy legs with me exp
Don’t quibble ● 06 Mar ’22 >
111. good moaning exp
Good morning ● 25 May ’21 >
112. do I have to eat the beak? exp
(No real meaning – just a bonding cry) ● 06 Nov ’21 >
113. bathroom thought n
A thought, had while using the facilities that exits your mind as you exit the smallest room ● 12 Mar ’21 >
114. Bob Cox n
The physicist Brian Cox ● 17 Sep ’21 >
115. donkeys n
The key of D major ● 02 Mar ’22 >
116. Draconia n
Fabled land of uncompromising law and order ● 28 Feb ’23 >
117. bumpity-bolliko adj
Uneven or bumpy (of a road) ● 07 Apr ’21 >
118. cunkspangle n
Person of small wit and smaller manners ● 18 Mar ’22 >
119. do a Thomas v
Race out to the loo in the middle of a meal to make room for more food ● 08 Mar ’22 >
120. Columbo bladder n
The condition, familiar to some older gentlemen, that causes the bladder to suggest one last squirt after the micturiter has shut up shop, washed hands and headed for the door ● 25 May ’21 >
121. Déjà Vu n
Citroën Deux Chevaux (2CV) ● 13 Mar ’21 >
122. E-Type punt n
Camping punt ● 03 Mar ’22 >
123. forgetty bowl of naise n
Spaghetti bolognaise ● 29 Mar ’21 >
124. Cla’am n
Gentrified pronunciation of the London district Clapham ● 25 May ’21 >
125. alec tricity n
Electricity ● 25 May ’21 >
126. delusions of adequacy n
The mindset of someone attempting to outperform their competence ● 05 Feb ’22 >
127. Belgian pish n
The beerish substance sold under the name Stella Artois ● 19 Jul ’22 >
128. ecilop n
Police ● 01 Mar ’22 >
129. disgusterous adj
Disgusting ● 21 Mar ’21 >
130. bastardsphere n
The inglorious company of spammers, hackers & phishers ● 13 May ’22 >
131. don fly! exc
Be gone, flying insect! ● 21 Mar ’21 >
132. burgalarm n
Burgler alarm ● 17 Jul ’22 >
133. another saucer of milk? exp
Goodness me, that was a catty [mean, spiteful] comment! ● 07 Nov ’21 >
134. goggrybaggies adj
Mouldy, off, rotten (of food) ● 30 Jun ’22 >
135. hiding behind the door when the brains were handed out adj
Not notably astute ● 06 Jul ’21 >
136. a crow, letting exp
I am pressing lightly on your head with the fingernails of one hand, and am claiming that a crow has settled there in case you should think that I am pressing lightly on your head with the fingernails of one hand ● 12 Mar ’21 >
137. extinguished adj
Distinguished ● 25 Mar ’21 >
138. chill on the kidneys n
A gloriously specific non-specific ailment you are sure to contract should you go outside between October and April [UK] with your shirt untucked from your waistband ● 29 Oct ’23 >
139. boil the billy v
Make tea ● 07 Nov ’22 >
140. baby abluga n
Baby beluga ● 04 Sep ’21 >
141. bonbon ching gum caramel! exp
(No real meaning – just a bonding cry) ● 06 Nov ’21 >
142. bearded mushrooms n
Breaded mushrooms ● 27 Jul ’21 >
143. Coorg’s n
The American beer Coor’s ● 25 May ’21 >
144. chilli gone barmy n
Chilli con carne ● 27 Jul ’21 >
145. doit v
Lose mental acuity (in the demotic: go ga-ga) ● 27 Feb ’23 >
146. contribute! exc
Your participation in the conversation must increase ● 10 Feb ’22 >
147. der dee twiddly, dee twiddly, dee botty-cracks exp
We have reached the end of this book/film/TV series ● 12 Mar ’21 >
148. Gusto n
A mystery friend ● 19 Aug ’21 >
149. charming ladies n
Naked women ● 15 Sep ’23 >
150. BO-er n
Deodorant ● 27 Jul ’21 >
151. bezz pawk adj
Bespoke ● 12 May ’21 >
152. ancestor tea n
The weak tea resulting from topping a pot up with hot water a second or subsequent time ● 26 May ’21 >
153. he’s got that round his neck exp
He has deeply misunderstood and/or perpetrated a severe tangle ● 01 Mar ’22 >
154. fin de saison adj
Unwelcoming, with many facilities closed ● 13 May ’22 >
155. dumsey-whumnuts adj
Rough, uneven, pitted (of roads) ● 24 Feb ’21 >
156. appalAchian contrOllay adj
Of French wines, appellation d’origine contrôlée… basically, not plonk ● 12 Jul ’22 >
157. Fairy Nuff exp
Fair enough ● 06 Mar ’22 >
158. ashpan n
Panache ● 07 Nov ’22 >
159. Basingrad n
Basingstoke ● 23 Apr ’21 >
160. bug rake n
Hair comb ● 16 Mar ’21 >
161. bat tsch-tsch n
Bathroom cleaner ● 17 Mar ’21 >
162. are we gentry or do we stack? exp
In practice it seemed to mean “I’m clearing the table now” between the courses of a meal, though none of us made much sense of it at the time ● 05 Jul ’22 >
163. here’s a tanner each to go away exp
Mental reaction to carol singers knocking the door. Can be literal or ironic. Would not actually be voiced ● 11 Aug ’21 >
164. bog n
Dog ● 12 Mar ’21 >
165. Brandywine Thistlebottom n
The actor Benedict Cumberbatch ● 24 Jan ’23 >
166. ah-ahs n
Poo ● 19 Mar ’21 >
167. go commando v
Perform a piece of music without referring to the score ● 18 Apr ’22 >
168. One I love, Two I love, Three I love, I say verse
Callback to:
One I love
Two I love
Three I love, I say.
Four I love with all my heart
Five I cast away.
Six he loves
Seven she loves
Eight they both love.
Nine he comes,
Ten he tarries,
Eleven they court,
Twelve they marry.
Thirteen they quarrel
Fourteen they part
Fifteen one dies of a broken heart ● 04 Mar ’22 >
169. Bob’s your parent’s sibling exp
It’s as easy as that ● 11 Feb ’22 >
170. Action Town n
Acton Town ● 08 Oct ’22 >
171. combine hoover n
Combine harvester ● 11 Mar ’21 >
172. fizzy knitting n
Overhead powerlines, particularly those for trolleybuses & trams ● 13 Mar ’23 >
173. a light to lighten the genitals exp
Graffito seen in the gentlemen’s convenience of The Perch inn, Oxford, written beneath the single dim lamp on the wall above the urinals ● 06 Jul ’21 >
174. crunchy plate n
Poppadom ● 05 Feb ’22 >
175. gash adj
Broken.
Can also, in the same general sense, be a noun meaning rubbish ● 07 Nov ’21 >
176. fundo-cubital dislocia n
The condition of being unable to distinguish between one’s arse and one’s elbow ● 25 May ’21 >
177. come to the cookhouse door, boys! verse
The meal is ready ● 27 May ’21 >
178. curtains generation n
Those who grew up when mental illness was shameful and the only treatment was “pull yourself together” ● 31 Oct ’21 >
179. Biggles flies undone exp
1. (Meaningless interjection at any allusion to the fictional character James Bigglesworth, or to any other similarly improbably ept aviator)
2. Your flies are undone ● 26 May ’21 >
180. a boy is a boy… exp
A callback to the proverb:
A boy is a boy; two boys are half a boy; three boys are no boy at all
…a commentary on the productivity of boys hired to do work, when child labour was considered acceptable ● 16 May ’21 >
181. how awdinawy! exc
Depressingly dull. Disappointingly ordinary ● 11 Mar ’21 >
182. cunsternoon afterble exp
Good afternoon, constable ● 04 Sep ’21 >
183. when you get to the final, you win exp
When you make it to the final of a competition, you expect to win ● 18 Apr ’22 >
184. beef cut n
Crew cut ● 30 Mar ’22 >
185. up to a point, Lord Copper exp
No ● 27 Jun ’21 >
186. All’ Barone n
The pub chain All Bar One ● 29 Dec ’22 >
187. a chill wind in the Trossachs exp
The sensation of wearing a kilt¹ on a cold day ● 10 Mar ’22 >
188. boom and scrunch n
The parlour game zoom and screech ● 22 Mar ’21 >
189. Ben Yehuda n
Pa’s nickname for Benno ● 09 Mar ’22 >
190. crank tea n
Herbal infusion ● 20 Apr ’21 >
191. that’s the badger! exc
Ah, *that* is the object/technique/problem/solution we were looking for ● 26 May ’21 >
192. honker n
Goose ● 22 Feb ’21 >
193. dots n
A musical score ● 10 Mar ’22 >
194. I want to watch me daddy pee exp
(What it says) ● 15 Mar ’21 >
195. canned elephant’s prick n
Tinned meat (eg Spam) ● 27 Feb ’23 >
196. crop dusting v
Letting a fart whilst in motion, particularly indoors ● 27 Feb ’22 >
197. Australian naming n
The practice of assigning proper names that are unduly literal, such as Great Barrier Reef, Northern Territory, Snowy Mountains, Great Sandy Desert, Mitchell Multilevel Falls, Great Dividing Range etc ● 19 Aug ’21 >
198. catch a falling poo verse
Catch a falling poo and put it in a packet,
Try not to make a mess.
Catch a falling poo and put it in a packet,
Send it to the NHS.
—to the tune of Catch a falling star ● 20 Jun ’23 >
199. flappy plate n
Flour tortilla ● 20 Mar ’21 >
200. bogpaper music n
Homogenised soulless featureless maundering lift music – tear off amount required ● 19 Mar ’21 >
201. Douglas Badger n
The WW2 fighter ace and hero Douglas Bader ● 17 Jul ’22 >
202. crack the sads v
To become upset or unhappy, or throw a tantrum ● 12 Jul ’22 >
203. blind mullet n
Seaborne bolus ● 30 Mar ’21 >
204. clootie n
Left-handed person ● 05 Mar ’21 >
205. flaptop n
Laptop computer ● 29 Dec ’22 >
206. grabled exnaplation n
Garbled explanation… but garbled ● 14 Mar ’21 >
207. desecrated coconut n
Dessicated coconut ● 29 Jul ’21 >
208. clickage n
Groceries purchased via a click-and-collect arrangement ● 07 Feb ’22 >
209. biddle biddle exp
The ringing sound of a GPO Trimphone, the trendy alternative to the standard issue phone ● 06 Sep ’21 >
210. foul infidel! Know you have trod on the toe of Abul Abulbul Amir! verse
You have trodden on my foot ● 09 Mar ’22 >
211. eh bien, merde alors exp
Never mind, let’s move on ● 15 Nov ’22 >
212. FHB exp
Family Hold Back, a reminder at parties to let guests have a good crack at the nosh before piling in ● 21 Nov ’21 >
213. accident n
An impulse purchase ● 02 Jan ’22 >
214. bouncealine n
Trampoline ● 30 Mar ’21 >
215. Higwi Kombi n
High Wycombe ● 20 Apr ’21 >
216. castrated adj
Decaffeinated (of coffee or tea) ● 20 Mar ’21 >
217. His Majesty’s Lunchbox n
The retailer Majestic Wines ● 06 Jul ’21 >
218. blop n
Like blob, but ploppier ● 13 Apr ’21 >
219. it’s only me Naymee! exp
I am exercising my self-conferred right to enter your house without an invitation ● 27 Feb ’21 >
220. god rest you jerry mentlemen verse
Mischievous variation on God rest you merry, gentlemen from the carol of the same name ● 11 Feb ’22 >
221. give every flying moment something to remember it by exp
Response to “I’m bored” ● 10 Feb ’22 >
222. epoophany n
A paradigm-shifting thought, reached while sitting upon the throne ● 12 Mar ’21 >
223. bogflosher n
Drain unblocker ● 25 May ’21 >
224. amontiddly-doh n
Amontillado, a variety of sherry ● 20 Jun ’23 >
225. buttons on a wall exp
Response to “so what?” ● 18 Apr ’22 >
226. fiat lux, a remark attributed to God exp
Let there be light ● 12 Mar ’21 >
227. bidet n
Rear wash-wipe mechanism (of a vehicle) ● 05 Jul ’22 >
228. sniggle v
Like snigger, but with less implied criticism ● 05 Jul ’21 >
229. flea rake n
Hair comb ● 28 Feb ’22 >
230. clever people like me who talk loudly in restaurants exp
Expression of disapproval of people who talk loudly in restaurants ● 11 Aug ’21 >
231. testiculate v
Employ expansive gestures whilst talking bollocks ● 11 Aug ’21 >
232. goosegog n
Gooseberry ● 28 Jan ’22 >
233. da hoover’s broke exp
I’ve broken something and it’s your fault ● 12 Feb ’22 >
234. breathe in, it’s good for you exp
Please cease complaining about this stinky farmyard ● 26 Feb ’21 >
235. fissle v
Surreptitously investigate presents before breakfast on Christmas morning ● 29 Dec ’22 >
236. flappy meats n
Cooked meats, charcuterie, cold cuts ● 04 Mar ’22 >
237. hoddududuh n
Hand-powered carpet sweeper ● 04 Sep ’21 >
238. Boom-holé n
Fictional planet ● 27 Jul ’21 >
239. everybody’s got to be somewhere exp
Response to “What are you doing here?” ● 30 Jul ’23 >
240. autocucumber n
The autocorrect function common on smartphones ● 24 Apr ’23 >
241. babu peechi lal n
Self-important person ● 08 Oct ’22 >
242. Grindelchomps n
The historian, TV presenter and daughter of Reading Lucy Worsley ● 10 Jul ’22 >
243. I only dropped them once exp
I only destroyed { the item in question } once ● 27 Jul ’21 >
244. flaming brandinis n
Game that involves pouring flaming brandy over a bowl of raisins and eating them while they’re still burning ● 04 May ’22 >
245. donkey manure exp
An utterance of deniable disrespect for Afrikaaners ● 06 Sep ’23 >
246. diddle diddle dumpling, mice and John verse
Diddle diddle dumpling, my son John
…the nursery rhyme ● 26 May ’21 >
247. and hadn’t we the gaeity at Phil the fluter’s ball verse
A line that Dad would sing at the most unexpected of times ● 19 Mar ’22 >
248. dudu n
Insect or bug ● 21 Mar ’21 >
249. bum in the air adj
Hard at work ● 27 Feb ’22 >
250. rabbit of negative euphoria n
One who is unhappy ● 17 Mar ’21 >
251. chocolate board n
The rear boarding platform of a bus, specifically of the AEC Regent Three ● 21 Nov ’21 >
252. old bagaloon n
Humourless older woman ● 06 Mar ’21 >
253. cockpit ape n
One who drives with an arm resting along the door, in the manner of Clarkson J and Johnson B ● 28 Jul ’21 >
254. furphy n
A tall tale; an erroneous or improbable story that is claimed to be factual ● 12 Jul ’22 >
255. add more lightness exp
Cut out anything superfluous ● 27 Feb ’23 >
256. conkerbox n
A small, noisy car that rattles and shakes ● 31 Aug ’22 >
257. sloppies n
Loose-fitting clothing worn inside the home. Daylight PJs ● 10 Feb ’22 >
258. encambula n
Ambulance ● 30 Mar ’21 >
259. didn’t want it ANYway! exp
Said when irreversibly deprived of something, particularly if through one’s own actions ● 01 Mar ’22 >
260. zizzer-zoof seeds n
Features, especially in software, “which nobody wants, because nobody needs” ● 03 Mar ’21 >
261. get off home with you! exc
Your round of golf is spoiling the view from my window ● 08 Mar ’21 >
262. Beezlebub n
Mispronunciation of Beelzebub ● 28 Feb ’21 >
263. pointèd stick n
Pointed stick ● 12 Mar ’21 >
264. the camels are coming hurrah, hurrah! verse
Pa’s jingle, delivered in an Anglo-Indian lilt, to go with jiggling a small child on his knee ● 05 Mar ’22 >
265. a day late and a dollar short adj
Applies to work that is both late and substandard ● 09 Mar ’22 >
266. effluent n
Elephant ● 05 Feb ’22 >
267. any more laid back his bum would fall off exp
Extremely relaxed, perhaps reprehensibly so ● 26 May ’21 >
268. gee what great looking kids – are they adopted? exp
Intended meaning: Your kids are a lot blonder than you two ● 30 Mar ’21 >
269. Grey Funnel Line n
The navy ● 26 Jun ’23 >
270. fartidoodalus n
One who messes around, or exhibits lack of focus and determination ● 27 Jul ’21 >
271. haddoncave v
Participate in PE without a jockstrap ● 27 Jun ’21 >
272. fluff v
To break wind ● 24 Jan ’23 >
273. that man did smack me with a needle! exc
Toddler Mark’s blubbing reaction to an inoculation which he had not expected ● 16 Apr ’21 >
274. elderflosh n
Elderflower cordial ● 19 Mar ’21 >
275. ’twill fit!! exc
Despite signs to the contrary, this jigsaw piece WILL fit! ● 08 Mar ’22 >
276. dry as a Nullarbor rabbit adj
Thirsty ● 27 Feb ’22 >
277. ky-oo Daddy! exc
On second thoughts, Father, I should like to take up your offer to carry me ● 03 Mar ’21 >
278. dead, and never called me mother exp
General purpose acknowledgement of a tragic circumstance ● 25 May ’21 >
279. beep conveyor n
One of those vehicles used in airports and hospitals for conveying loud, unsettling beeps around the place ● 24 Jan ’23 >
280. may your wheels turn square and your petrol turn to water! exc
A curse directed at disobliging drivers ● 20 Jan ’23 >
281. what a day dad had! exc
Father has suffered some setbacks today ● 10 Jul ’22 >
282. grouse adj
Very good ● 25 May ’21 >
283. ars bin n
Wing bean ● 08 Mar ’22 >
284. abratadabra exc
Answer to the question “What’s the magic word?” ● 30 Mar ’21 >
285. Mr Bump exp
An iterative navigation technique that eschews maps, plans and electronic devices and instead proceeds in the hope that each failed attempt will at least bring the traveller a little nearer to the destination. Characterised by scenic routes & late arrivals ● 01 Mar ’22 >
286. dial, face, mug, pan or mat n
Face ● 07 Nov ’22 >
287. go swimming with the children v
Defecate ● 18 Apr ’22 >
288. percussive maintenance n
Trying to fix a thing by hitting it ● 01 Jul ’22 >
289. bumbalo bag n
Bumbag (US: fannypack) ● 15 Nov ’22 >
290. fall over blackwards exp
Positive discrimination taken to extremes ● 16 May ’21 >
291. misery bite n
Comfort food when unwell ● 18 Apr ’22 >
292. haus sik n
Hospital ● 02 Mar ’22 >
293. surface filing n
A system of filing that involves leaving everything on the desktop, ie no system at all ● 28 Feb ’22 >
294. hand in one’s badge and gun v
Resign ● 30 Jun ’22 >
295. obstacular adj
Being an obstacle ● 12 Mar ’21 >
296. hey, Mr Squirrel, pull your pants up! exp
Callback to a joke that clearly tickled Pa but was never given in full ● 03 Sep ’23 >
297. oomagoolie n
Umami, the one of the five basic tastes that didn’t have an English word (so we took the Japanese one) ● 21 Nov ’21 >
298. assumptions make an ass of ump and tions exp
Avoid making assumptions ● 25 May ’21 >
299. cowp v
Capsize ● 01 Jul ’22 >
300. avian fornication n
Thing of no regard ● 03 Sep ’23 >
301. by gum I’m stuck. What am I? exp
[Riddle] ● 10 Sep ’23 >
302. earbash n
A verbal harangue ● 07 Nov ’22 >
303. FOFO n
A basis for the valuation of stocks (inventory) hard-found by young auditors ● 10 Sep ’23 >
304. sickly cake n
Individual cake of the indulgent type served for afternoon tea at the right sort of hotel ● 11 Mar ’21 >
305. hot will grow cold, if greedy will wait exp
If you had patience then your mouth would not be burning right now ● 12 Mar ’21 >
306. cock a deaf ’un v
Cock a deaf ear; ignore the thing a person has said ● 12 Jul ’22 >
307. paucey adj
Limp, pale or unprepossessing ● 21 Mar ’21 >
308. can’t get his tongue round his Rs adj
Has difficulty saying the letter R ● 31 Oct ’21 >
309. run around to get wet adj
Having a low rate of flow (of a bathroom shower) ● 01 Jul ’22 >
310. hoggry tiglets! exc
My, what a satisfying ending! ● 14 Mar ’21 >
311. changed his 40 for two 20s and found he wasn’t wired for it exp
Catty comment about a man who proves over-ambitious in his philandering ● 29 Oct ’23 >
312. while you’re on your feet… exp
By standing up you have made yourself liable for any tasks that I want doing (such as bringing us all a cup of tea) ● 19 Mar ’22 >
313. the job’s a good ’un exp
We have achieved our objective ● 12 Feb ’22 >
314. envelote n
Envelope ● 30 Mar ’21 >
315. A-flute v
To campaign with the use of an A-frame adorned with corflutes proclaiming the campaginer’s message ● 22 Oct ’23 >
316. piece of chelief n
Chief of police ● 28 Feb ’22 >
317. Burly Chassis n
The Welsh singer Shirley Bassey ● 03 Sep ’23 >
318. Marcus Aurelius n
Dad’s pet name for Mark ● 05 Dec ’21 >
319. Harwich for the Continent, {Frinton} for the incontinent exp
Old folk joke from the time when “Harwich for the Continent” would be generally recognised ● 18 Aug ’23 >
320. soft poop n
Soft scoop ice cream, noted more for its malleability than its delectability ● 10 Jul ’22 >
321. square measles n
A QR code, one of those 2-D barcode things like… like… well, like square measles ● 28 Sep ’22 >
322. winnebago n
A Milwaukee brand tape measure ● 30 Mar ’22 >
323. wadundudundu n
Sleeping policeman (speed bump) intended as a traffic-calming measure ● 21 Mar ’21 >
324. shrapnel n
Small change, especially foreign coins that would be worthless on returning home ● 28 Feb ’22 >
325. wut‽ exc
Like what‽, but whattier ● 16 Apr ’21 >
326. pump n
Nonsense ● 24 Mar ’21 >
327. defillibrator n
Defibrillator ● 01 Jul ’22 >
328. shenzi adj
Below standard, no good ● 02 Mar ’22 >
329. little teapots have big spouts exp
Let us continue this discussion later, when the children aren’t listening ● 26 Feb ’21 >
330. floordrobe n
The floor of a bedroom when scattered with clothing ● 22 Oct ’23 >
331. cleveh adj
Clever in a rather smug sort of way ● 15 Mar ’23 >
332. gobble v
Ogle. Observe lecherously ● 21 Aug ’23 >
333. dudu maki n
Insect repellent ● 04 Mar ’22 >
334. Lethal Festival n
The Leith Hill Musical Festival ● 27 May ’21 >
335. swooshbox n
Dishwasher ● 25 May ’21 >
336. in the nothings adj
Naked ● 19 Mar ’22 >
337. snortelly snips n
Sleep, especially in anticipation ● 17 Mar ’21 >
338. aleebee n
Alibi ● 21 Aug ’23 >
339. it’s only a trifle said the monkey exp
Callback to:
”It’s only a trifle!” said the monkey as it peed onto the sponge fingers
…an expression of disdain for the gallimaufric pudding known as a trifle ● 26 Dec ’21 >
340. Turd & Cabbage n
Slug & Lettuce, the restaurant chain ● 27 Jun ’21 >
341. tight as a crab’s arse under water adj
Unduly economy-minded ● 08 Mar ’21 >
342. samting, nating exp
Not worth worrying about (or remembering or noticing) ● 28 Feb ’22 >
343. Horrible Life n
Herbal Life (now Herbalife), the brand of shampoo & similar products ● 12 May ’21 >
344. gawn awf and gawt lawst exp
Gone astray ● 26 Jun ’23 >
345. said Aunt Helga exp
response to anyone saying “tis” (or “it is” without sufficient care) ● 12 Mar ’21 >
346. lah-pom n
Lavatory ● 09 Mar ’21 >
347. I see said the blind man as he walked into a lampost exp
Sceptical response to the assertion “I see” ● 05 Feb ’22 >
348. St Reatham n
Gentrified pronunciation of the London district Streatham ● 25 May ’21 >
349. elephant paper n
Kitchen roll ● 03 Mar ’21 >
350. I’ve got my big eating hat on! exp
Settle down, stop this noise/disagreement/kerfuffle ● 13 Mar ’21 >
351. omzetbelasting exc
Imprecation that sounds ruder than it is ● 27 Jul ’21 >
352. takes the skin off your teeth exp
An effect of eating rhubarb ● 09 Mar ’22 >
353. susu bilong bulmacow n
Cows’ milk ● 01 Mar ’22 >
354. Ma son’s a prawn n
The traditional fiddle tune Mason’s apron ● 18 Aug ’23 >
355. slimy ming fruit n
Avocado ● 28 Feb ’21 >
356. peelywally baggie n
Part-baked baguette ● 09 Mar ’21 >
357. floor sweepings n
The type of bread so full of roughage that it barely hangs together, and is often understatedly sold as “multigrain” ● 10 Jul ’22 >
358. there’s no show without Punch exp
Jobs don’t get done when the person who normally does them is away ● 21 Mar ’21 >
359. punctuality is a politeness of kings exp
Don’t be late ● 11 Aug ’21 >
360. vollay! exc
I am about to hit you ● 01 Jul ’22 >
361. 1-2-3 wash yourself, ducky! exc
I am throwing a handful of wet sand at you ● 09 Mar ’21 >
362. flatusphere n
The hazard zone of a flatus ● 06 Mar ’21 >
363. there we are then! exc
What a silly person! ● 27 Jun ’21 >
364. humididity n
Humidity ● 13 Mar ’21 >
365. no use to man or dog exp
No use to man or beast ● 14 Mar ’21 >
366. blick auf exp
Wake up! ● 28 Feb ’21 >
367. my back, my belly and my two sides exp
Response to person complaining they feel unwell ● 12 May ’21 >
368. when a man is tired of Bracknell… exp
Callback to:
When a man is tired of Bracknell he has been there 20 mins ● 10 Mar ’22 >
369. too much admin exp
Mark’s objection to eating crab, artichoke, pomegranate, shrimp etc ● 04 Mar ’22 >
370. salad pie n
Quiche ● 13 Apr ’21 >
371. tentacles n
Testicles ● 28 Jan ’22 >
372. short arms, deep pockets adj
Mean, stingy ● 08 Mar ’21 >
373. American seat n
A merry conceit ● 27 Feb ’21 >
374. niggs n
Eggs ● 30 Mar ’21 >
375. wi’ oor knickers hangin’ doon exp
Obligatory rejoinder to “we’re off tae toon” ● 24 Mar ’21 >
376. forn prongs n
Travel adapters for electrical plugs ● 04 Mar ’21 >
377. nanny nagface n
One prone to give far more criticism or other feedback than the situation warrants ● 11 Feb ’22 >
378. respectawiggle adj
Respectable ● 17 Mar ’21 >
379. North Pole, duty penguin exp
Mischievous or stroppy phrase for answering a ringing phone ● 21 Nov ’21 >
380. you’ve all done very well exp
You’ve all done very well ● 19 Mar ’23 >
381. our friend who travels on his belly n
Snake ● 04 Mar ’22 >
382. WOMBAT n
Waste of money, brains and time ● 05 Mar ’21 >
383. cash’n’flash n
Pay-and-display car park ● 03 Mar ’21 >
384. Saint Sean n
The French composer Camille Saint-Saëns ● 14 Jan ’22 >
385. pingams n
Belly button ● 03 Mar ’21 >
386. Muggerborski n
The composer Mussorgsky ● 03 Mar ’21 >
387. ladies of negotiable affection n
Female sex workers ● 07 Feb ’22 >
388. some people really work at being miserable exp
Gosh, s/he doesn’t look for the silver lining! ● 06 Jul ’21 >
389. shut up and give your arse a chance exp
You appear to be talking nonsense ● 17 Mar ’21 >
390. noxious weed n
Non-native species of plant ● 11 Mar ’21 >
391. wall botherer n
Hammer drill ● 24 Jan ’23 >
392. my wife’s wedding anniversary exp
Hallmark of an unromantic husband ● 06 Sep ’21 >
393. sooky adj
Timid and/or apt to complain and/or resistant to fun ● 17 Mar ’21 >
394. osh n
Generic term for sauces, soufflés, jellies, dips, pastes, pickles and other comestibles of a similar consistency ● 04 Mar ’21 >
395. hogwashing hat n
Impromptu sun hat made by drawing up a t-shirt until the neck band sits round the forehead and the remainder covers the neck ● 03 Mar ’21 >
396. poffle n
Pop filter for a microphone ● 24 Mar ’21 >
397. listen to the silence! exc
Isn’t it quiet? ● 19 Mar ’21 >
398. vacs up nice adj
Responds well to treatment with a vacuum cleaner ● 08 Mar ’21 >
399. oddfather / oddmother n
A role akin to godfather / godmother suitable for an atheist ● 07 Feb ’22 >
400. now the weather turns quite dirty and the clock it strikes five-thirty exp
The weather is taking a turn for the worse ● 07 Feb ’22 >
401. I’ll raise a bunion on his Spanish onion verse
I shall have my revenge, in a sort of easy-going way ● 27 Jan ’22 >
402. be told! exc
Don’t argue! ● 28 Feb ’21 >
403. knock it on the head exp
A suggestion by Dad’s consultant for dealing with a UTI ● 16 Mar ’21 >
404. Forderism n
A strangled conceit of the kind much employed by Rev H Forder to leaven his sermons ● 20 Jun ’23 >
405. if you get there first, draw a chalk line; if I get there first, I’ll rub it out exp
(Laudable nonsense) ● 11 Mar ’21 >
406. op n
Any edible liquid/paste/stew ● 09 Mar ’21 >
407. Warr-Doorr n
Wardour Street in London, a centre of the film industry ● 21 Nov ’21 >
408. I’m as old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth exp
Answer to the question “How old are you?” ● 29 Jan ’22 >
409. I’ll have the other half now exp
Perhaps I could be persuaded to a little more beer ● 19 Mar ’21 >
410. I want gets nothing exp
Don’t ask for things ● 11 Aug ’21 >
411. bong n
Person defined by their location, role or relationship ● 28 Feb ’21 >
412. soft day n
A day that’s raining stair-rods (cats & dogs, the devil & pitchforks, bullfrogs or your own regional expression to taste) ● 15 Nov ’22 >
413. pince mie n
Mince pie, the Christmas comestible ● 18 Mar ’22 >
414. I was a fool to think the old Percy was dead exp
I find myself amorously inclined ● 06 Sep ’21 >
415. ordinary Australian tea n
India tea ● 27 Feb ’23 >
416. stuck in me clack exp
Stuck in my throat ● 01 Mar ’22 >
417. wobulence n
Mild turbulence ● 03 Mar ’21 >
418. lumps n
Mumps ● 21 Mar ’21 >
419. big clock n
Thing to be coveted ● 28 Feb ’21 >
420. hold back my sleeve while I put my finger to my forehead exp
I am trying to bring a forgotten thing to mind ● 04 Mar ’22 >
421. PEBUCK exp
The user – generally of a computer – is being a bit thick ● 12 Nov ’23 >
422. bagaloons n
Capacious knickers ● 27 Feb ’21 >
423. warned in a dream exp
Take a different route ● 06 Sep ’21 >
424. fart young smeller n
Smart young feller ● 05 Mar ’21 >
425. contrived delights of LA n
Los Angeles’s theme parks ● 03 Mar ’21 >
426. bim n
Bowel movement ● 28 Feb ’21 >
427. hoof-hearted exp
Has the form of an adjective, but is just a surreptitious way of calling out someone else’s flatulence ● 31 Oct ’21 >
428. the chop n
A vasectomy ● 10 Feb ’22 >
429. pugsaw jizzle n
Jigsaw puzzle ● 13 Mar ’21 >
430. no fun allowed exp
You have tried to do something nice for yourself and the world will not permit it ● 12 Mar ’21 >
431. PhD point n
A subtlety in a creative work so obscure that it will pass unnoticed, unless it becomes the subject of a PhD one day ● 13 Mar ’21 >
432. POETS day n
Piss off early, tomorrow’s Saturday (or, for sensitive ears, Push off…) ● 27 May ’21 >
433. bobaligoo n
Boat fender ● 28 Feb ’21 >
434. rectal floss n
The type of swimming attire that disappears up the wearer’s bum crack (intentionally) ● 23 Apr ’21 >
435. tibbit! exc
Shout to be given if first to sight a yellow hydrant during a car journey ● 19 Mar ’21 >
436. if you’re up that way with your teeth exp
If you will be going anyway ● 09 Mar ’21 >
437. wee board n
The pastry base of a tart ● 03 Mar ’21 >
438. it has a better chance now exp
The mistake that prevented a thing from working has now been rectified ● 05 Dec ’21 >
439. who’s going round the roundabout? verse
(Rhetorical) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
440. testiculae loquans adj
Talking bollocks ● 05 Dec ’21 >
441. ump and tions exp
What assumptions make an ass of ● 20 Aug ’21 >
442. there’s a ghost, there’s a ghost, throw a flannel at its face! exc
I see you have a flannel on your face. I am about to throw another at you. The flannel already on your face will make this a shocking experience ● 12 Mar ’21 >
443. spacemen drop-off n
Specimen drop-off ● 27 Mar ’21 >
444. wishywashy place n
The under-bed compartment that serves as a laundry basket at Heron Island ● 27 May ’21 >
445. jam sandwich n
Police car ● 13 Apr ’21 >
446. bee-loud glade verse
Invoked when walking amongst busy insects in a rural setting ● 26 Jun ’23 >
447. more of a meal than a drink exp
Tea served from a pot without a strainer ● 27 Jun ’21 >
448. you daft ha’p’orth! exc
That is entertainingly silly ● 07 Apr ’21 >
449. snotty gobbles (or snot block) n
Vanilla slices ● 04 Mar ’22 >
450. lobster pop n
Lobster pot ● 17 Sep ’21 >
451. spider werb n
Spider’s web ● 27 Jun ’21 >
452. smells like coffee, looks like cocoa n
WW1 army tea ● 14 Mar ’21 >
453. pang! exc
Like bang, but clangier ● 03 Mar ’21 >
454. ready-ready adj
Ready, this moment, to do the next thing (as opposed to starting to think about bringing the previous activity to a close… at some point… probably, which is some people’s idea of “ready”) ● 09 Aug ’21 >
455. the door’s not shut on my genius but… verse
I’ll eventually prove to be brilliant ● 08 Mar ’22 >
456. home again, home again, jiggedy jog verse
We are finally home! Pa would chant it upon arriving home after an outing with Mr Bump ● 12 Mar ’21 >
457. they’ll never sell ice creams at that speed exp
An emergency vehicle is passing with its siren going ● 11 Feb ’22 >
458. there was a young man of Tralee verse
Callback to the Limerish:
There was a young man of Tralee
Got stung on the nose by a wasp
When asked “Did it hurt?”
He said “No not a bit
Thank goodness it wasn’t a hornet” ● 27 May ’21 >
459. oh bother! exc
Things are not going well ● 17 Mar ’21 >
460. case case case exp
In any case ● 02 Mar ’21 >
461. white seals n
White folk swimming in the Thames, especially before the suntan season ● 30 Mar ’21 >
462. cover it over quick, Jemima! verse
You are displaying a little more flesh than you might wish ● 08 Mar ’21 >
463. susu n
Breast; breast milk. ● 01 Mar ’22 >
464. sparrowfart n
Very early in the morning ● 21 Nov ’21 >
465. lie like a flatfish v
Tell extreme lies ● 02 Mar ’21 >
466. boîte sur toit n
A roofbox, one of those enclosed roofracks for cars ● 12 Nov ’23 >
467. how’s your belly off for spots? exp
How are you ● 21 Mar ’21 >
468. so you do that exp
Response to an inaudible PA announcement ● 08 Mar ’21 >
469. obsquecious adj
Obsequious ● 17 Sep ’21 >
470. unleaded adj
Decaffeinated ● 12 May ’21 >
471. hyper-bowl n
Hyperbole ● 17 Mar ’21 >
472. that’s small onions exp
That is the end. We have done all that we are here to do ● 11 Feb ’22 >
473. idées au dessus de son gare exp
Ideas above his station, a classic put-down of those trying to advance themselves by those who consider themselves superior ● 04 Feb ’22 >
474. potato sock n
Sock with several holes ● 04 Mar ’21 >
475. yow cor wack it exp
That would be hard to beat ● 18 Dec ’21 >
476. laxadaisical adj
Like lackadaisical, but laxer ● 28 Jul ’21 >
477. poverty model n
Bottom-of-the-range option, especally where the cost savings are conspicuous ● 03 Mar ’21 >
478. cooking fat! exc
By jove, that cat is annoying me ● 02 Mar ’21 >
479. oh Lucky Jim! exc
Well that’s not good ● 05 Jul ’22 >
480. it’s been a bad year for Scottish hill farmers exp
(Intended as a conversation stopper) ● 29 Jan ’22 >
481. Milly-Molly-Mandy house n
A stereotypical house, absolutely symmetrical with one window each side of the porch, three matching windows on the first floor (2ⁿᵈ if you’re American) & the pitch of the roof matching the pitch of the porch ● 27 Jun ’21 >
482. time to put clothes on exp
Time to get up ● 21 Mar ’21 >
483. horse’s douvers n
Hors d’oeuvres ● 19 Mar ’21 >
484. couldn’t organise a black pudding adj
Scatty, disorganised, bumbling ● 03 Mar ’21 >
485. shivery bite n
Biscuit or sweet issued after a swim ● 03 Mar ’21 >
486. katsik n
A dish Clare invented consisting largely of baked tomato with feta cubes ● 27 Feb ’22 >
487. hypodemic nerdle n
Hypodermic needle ● 05 Mar ’21 >
488. shabby and miscellaneous adj
Disappointing ● 02 Mar ’21 >
489. sausinge n
Sausage ● 13 Mar ’21 >
490. a peach of a boat exp
Literally: A very nice boat.
Intended meaning: A fishing boat ● 05 Mar ’21 >
491. one more shirt will do me exp
Don’t wash or iron me any more shirts as I’m going to drop dead any moment now ● 12 May ’21 >
492. little birdie flying high verse
A callback to this ditty:
Little birdie flying high
Drops a present from the sky
Angry farmer wipes his eye
Thanking god that cows don’t fly ● 12 May ’21 >
493. stumps (or call stumps) exp
Declare the end of play – call a halt to an undertaking with no defined end, or simply decide it’s bedtime ● 13 Mar ’21 >
494. puffin break n
When climbing, a puffing break with a pretext ● 04 Mar ’21 >
495. warning-warning exp
Everything is fine ● 05 Feb ’22 >
496. Stinkyniger n
Rhosneigr, the seaside village in Anglesey ● 12 May ’21 >
497. the full catastrophe exp
Everything; all of the thing we’re discussing ● 08 Mar ’22 >
498. limerish n
Limerick that doesn’t quite follow the rules of that verse form ● 11 Aug ’21 >
499. washing machine n
A water’s-edge game: while able to stand, hold hands facing inwards in a ring; float & kick legs to make a splash, and if possible get some rotation going. For 4+ participants ● 28 Jul ’21 >
500. mloddy adj
Mouldy ● 11 Feb ’22 >
501. let’s put the roof on first exp
Let’s do a thing that due reflection would reveal to be impossible ● 06 Sep ’21 >
502. basking hickory stick n
Lavatory bowl floater ● 28 Feb ’21 >
503. white horse n
A perfect guest ● 21 Mar ’22 >
504. Iliff Point n
The remotest part of a beach, where we would go to be away from everyone else (even though it meant lugging everything miles from the car) ● 03 Mar ’21 >
505. wankpanzer n
Large agricultural vehicle when chosen for use in an urban environment ● 12 Apr ’22 >
506. homeopathic vodka n
Water ● 27 Jun ’21 >
507. wobblevoice n
Singing with vibrato, especially when taken to excess ● 04 Sep ’21 >
508. Page Nine n
The Italian violinist & composer Niccolò Paganini ● 14 Jan ’22 >
509. you can go off people exp
A person I have hitherto admired has done or said something reprehensible ● 27 Apr ’21 >
510. Jo-Jo le Plongeur n
The children’s bath toy Diver Dan ● 03 Mar ’22 >
511. old folk joke n
A joke so old that it tickles no-one, but must be trotted out when a suitable setup is given ● 11 Aug ’21 >
512. orpathedic adj
Orthopaedic ● 29 Jul ’21 >
513. Iliff Wight n
Isle of Wight, a county of England ● 03 Mar ’21 >
514. jock v
Miss, skip, cut or otherwise fail to attend ● 11 Feb ’22 >
515. it was in the last place I looked exp
I’ve found it ● 29 Jan ’22 >
516. insult v
Consult ● 07 Nov ’21 >
517. priestage n
Prestige ● 24 Mar ’21 >
518. wellcome home exp
Welcome home ● 16 Mar ’21 >
519. trowers n
Trousers ● 11 Feb ’22 >
520. nipple cake n
Cherry bakewell ● 19 Mar ’21 >
521. makes your eyebrows sweat exp
An unexpected consequence of eating blackcurrants ● 05 Mar ’21 >
522. whocares n
County when filling in a web form ● 03 Apr ’21 >
523. Yizanastikov the Russian exp
He has a nasty cough ● 30 Jan ’22 >
524. what will you have? said the waiter exp
A callback to this ditty:
“What will you have?” said the waiter, pensively picking his nose
“Two boiled eggs, you scoundrel – you won’t get your fingers in those” ● 12 May ’21 >
525. nose pie n
The yield from a nose-picking foray ● 07 Nov ’21 >
526. whackers n
Lies ● 02 Mar ’21 >
527. Mr Brown upstairs smoking n
The wholly fictitious person a young lad claimed would pay his bus fare, buying him time to scarper when the conductor went upstairs ● 06 Jul ’21 >
528. squeamful adj
Like squeamish, but less indefinite ● 17 Mar ’21 >
529. what a fall of royalty! exc
Goodness, those picture cards were badly defeated! ● 12 Mar ’21 >
530. hullabaloo n
One given to loud and/or exhibitionist behaviour, especially when boating ● 31 Oct ’21 >
531. sun, sea, sand and, er…, palms exp
Manual self-stimulation ● 28 Jul ’21 >
532. practise beforehand which ruins the fun verse
Take preparation seriously. Callback to Flanders & Swann’s A song of patriotic prejudice:
And all the world over each nation’s the same
They’ve simply no notion of playing the game
They argue with umpires, they cheer when they’ve won
And they practise beforehand which ruins the fun ● 27 Jun ’21 >
533. splash me boots! exp
Excuse me while I make a visit to the gents’ lavatory ● 12 Mar ’21 >
534. open the breach and fire the gun exp
Callback to the couplet:
Wakey wakey! Morning’s come
Open the breach and fire the gun ● 15 Nov ’22 >
535. pick up fagends v
Pay attention to snippets of others’ conversation, particularly without the full context, often with a view to joining in ● 07 Nov ’21 >
536. toed in the hole v
Kicked up the bum ● 24 Apr ’23 >
537. you are my sunshine, my only sunshine verse
The song:
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you!
Please don’t take my sunshine away! ● 04 Mar ’22 >
538. mismanglement n
Mismanagement, only more so ● 14 Mar ’21 >
539. shrimp-wrapped adj
Shrink-wrapped ● 25 May ’21 >
540. charge like a wounded bull v
Charge exorbitantly ● 02 Mar ’21 >
541. peelywally adj
Unwell, washed out, under the weather, pale & uninteresting ● 09 Mar ’21 >
542. propelleper n
Propeller ● 08 Jan ’22 >
543. I have measured out my life with coffee spoons verse
Can be quoted to mean:
1) I have been engaged in trivia
2) I have drunk a lot of coffee ● 26 Aug ’23 >
544. garnsed up adj
1) In a tangle.
2) Badly soiled ● 04 Mar ’21 >
545. misery chest n
First aid kit taken on holidays, or medicine cupboard at home ● 26 May ’21 >
546. it’s the water exp
Expression of disdain for mass-market American beers ● 25 May ’21 >
547. pornograph n
Imaginary appliance for displaying pornography ● 05 Mar ’21 >
548. move your lips! exc
Your diction is unsatisfactory ● 12 Mar ’21 >
549. senseless man n
Census man ● 05 Mar ’21 >
550. saganaki! exc
Goodness me, what low-hanging testicles that chap has been blessed with! ● 04 Mar ’21 >
551. muchos cocineros! exc
My goodness, what a lot of people there are in the kitchen! ● 04 Sep ’21 >
552. yam all right our kid? exp
Do you fare well, sibling? ● 20 Mar ’21 >
553. longhetti n
Spaghetti (see Notes) ● 08 Mar ’21 >
554. Joe Blake n
Snake ● 04 Mar ’22 >
555. I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by exp
I hate deadlines ● 28 Feb ’22 >
556. Snablats n
St Albans ● 04 Mar ’21 >
557. trivium n
An incidental fact of little importance ● 09 Mar ’22 >
558. murano adj
Merino ● 25 Mar ’21 >
559. vauum n
The sound of a vacuum-flush lavatory ● 04 Mar ’21 >
560. undercrunk n
Strip of pebbles just below the waterline on an otherwise sandy beach ● 03 Mar ’21 >
561. windowscreen n
A vehicle’s windscreen ● 01 Jul ’22 >
562. up your end exp
Phrase used when passing vegetable dishes around a dining table ● 18 Apr ’22 >
563. sparrow piss n
A rain shower so nugatory that it doesn’t even wet the grass ● 18 Mar ’22 >
564. lumpy ming fruit n
Beetroot ● 08 Mar ’21 >
565. where we have been no-one shall find, For not a trace have we left behind verse
Reminder to all, when leaving a spot they had spent time in, to look back to check they have taken all their stuff with them.
Callback to:
Where we have been no one can find,
Not a trace have we left behind.
Only the people we’ve helped today
Know that the Brownies have passed this way. ● 08 Mar ’22 >
566. elsh n
Elephant dung ● 08 Mar ’21 >
567. thank you Mrs Lowsborough Goosborough verse
Thanks for nothing ● 02 Mar ’21 >
568. peepy-eyed adj
Frowzy, especially if eyes swollen from lack of (or too much) sleep ● 27 Feb ’22 >
569. le grand fromage lui-même exp
The big cheese himself ● 19 Jul ’21 >
570. p’daahlo n
Pedalo ● 24 Mar ’21 >
571. they are curlews of the fenland! verse
Call and response upon seeing a seagull. ● 09 Mar ’21 >
572. park-anywheres n
Vehicle hazard warning lights (aka four-way flashers) ● 04 Mar ’21 >
573. straight-straight-straight exp
Straight on ● 11 Aug ’21 >
574. let my son have the ball! exc
Veiled threat to embarrass an offspring by intervening on their behalf in something they ought to have under control ● 22 Mar ’21 >
575. tisbic n
Biscuit ● 01 Jul ’22 >
576. the customer is always the customer exp
The supplier’s job is to satisfy the wants of the customer, however unhinged they might appear ● 12 Apr ’22 >
577. taramadiddle n
Like taradiddle, but taradiddlier ● 06 Jul ’21 >
578. Ministry of Tidy Folk n
[1]. When composers in the classical tradition adopt folk music fatally by stabbing it through the soul with a baton.
[2]. People who believe that the version of a folk tune they know is the one true and only version ● 05 Dec ’21 >
579. tolerably early night exp
An early night, which the children involved would likely find intolerable and the adults highly tolerable ● 21 Mar ’21 >
580. thunderwobbler n
Spin dryer, or washing machine when spin drying ● 11 Mar ’21 >
581. You are very ugly today, Pa / Ma Ubu! exp
A gently loving greeting to one’s spouse in the morning ● 28 Feb ’22 >
582. sealion adj
Senile ● 06 Sep ’21 >
583. no bones in it! exp
Easy, little one, there’s nothing hard to swallow in my milk ● 27 Apr ’21 >
584. wee knights n
Week nights ● 02 Feb ’22 >
585. village aunty n
Vigilante ● 19 Aug ’21 >
586. second coffee n
Weak brew made by re-steeping grounds that have already been used to make the nice coffee ● 28 Jan ’22 >
587. make friends in cookhouse exp
Treat support workers with respect ● 23 Apr ’21 >
588. pinghole n
Microwave oven ● 08 Mar ’21 >
589. most highly flavoured gravy verse
Mischievous variation on Most highly favoured lady, a line from the carol The Angel Gabriel ● 11 Feb ’22 >
590. ticky tacky n
Shoddy building material ● 16 May ’21 >
591. Notlob n
Bolton ● 04 Mar ’21 >
592. rent to the ideal exp
The cost of trust. The price paid for the comfort of trusting people ● 04 Feb ’22 >
593. my word, Hetty verse
A callback to the song fragment:
My word, Hetty
If I catch you on the jetty
I’ll saw your leg off
And stick it on with jam
In Amsterdam
…to a tune that the compilers have yet to identify ● 25 May ’21 >
594. wisp n
Whist ● 30 Mar ’21 >
595. tell it not in Gath exp
Between you and me… ● 06 Mar ’22 >
596. those aren’t bananas they’re plantains exp
A baffling and unfounded denigration of bananas ● 09 Mar ’22 >
597. hot holders n
Oven mitts ● 21 Nov ’21 >
598. Silliam William n
Intentionally pompous variation of the mild put-down Silly Billy ● 06 Jul ’21 >
599. I wanna beetroot exc
I really like the look of those toffee apples ● 07 Mar ’21 >
600. what about a water bottle Wattle? exp
The sound of a fart while bathing ● 24 Jan ’23 >
601. spose n
Spouse ● 28 Feb ’22 >
602. undercrackers n
Underpants ● 05 Feb ’22 >
603. purple-headeds n
Mountains ● 02 Mar ’21 >
604. pick a note or go home exc
I am pained by your excessive use of vibrato and/or coloratura ● 07 Feb ’22 >
605. vladivostok exc
(Exclamation for covering a belch ) ● 17 Mar ’21 >
606. par cark n
Car park ● 18 Apr ’22 >
607. leaf blower n
A well-to-do man who is dissolute or promiscuous ● 12 Feb ’22 >
608. Spindleshanks n
Dad’s pet name for Jane-Marie, and later for Bel ● 28 Jan ’22 >
609. who’s died? exp
Your flies are undone ● 30 Mar ’22 >
610. rumble-tumble n
Anglo-Indian dish comprising scrambled eggs, onions and whatever stuff needs eating up ● 05 Mar ’22 >
611. whackysticky n
Border morris dancing, the flavour of that noble art that involves the percussive use of staves ● 03 Mar ’22 >
612. if UCP on tripe don’t eat it exp
If you see pee on tripe don’t eat it ● 12 Feb ’22 >
613. parroty error exp
When your parrot says “pieces of seven” ● 01 Mar ’22 >
614. roastby spuds n
Roast potatoes ● 08 Jan ’22 >
615. I would as lief ’erd ‘ens exp
I don’t want to do it ● 04 Mar ’22 >
616. it’s worse than the ticktolleroo exp
A little less fidgeting please ● 07 Apr ’21 >
617. hopt out v
Opt out ● 04 Mar ’22 >
618. toasty bombola n
Heated car seat ● 02 Mar ’21 >
619. poo tickets n
Toilet roll, lavatory paper, bogroll, torchecul, bum fodder… call it what you will ● 28 Feb ’22 >
620. Teshco n
Tesco, the supermarket chain ● 27 Jun ’21 >
621. unmatched pointer n
A loose end; an unresolved issue ● 18 Mar ’22 >
622. myzled v
Misled ● 19 Aug ’21 >
623. I don’t boil my cabbages twice exp
I decline to repeat the words to which you failed to give proper attention ● 04 Mar ’21 >
624. do it self! exc
I firmly decline your offer of help ● 04 Mar ’21 >
625. rough as a badger adj
Rough (in the sense of not smooth, but not in the sense of approximate) ● 17 Sep ’21 >
626. wash horses v
Wash hair ● 02 Mar ’21 >
627. ours adj
Our ● 13 May ’22 >
628. jagular n
Jaguar – can apply both to panthera onca and to the car brand ● 19 Mar ’22 >
629. sat in a tyre exp
Reference to the phrase Dressed in silk and satin attire ● 19 Jan ’22 >
630. Mount Ararat n
Mount Alvernia hospital, Guildford, which is a long climb from the bus stop on the Epsom road ● 27 May ’21 >
631. yellow is mellow, but if it’s brown flush it down exp
Flush poo but not pee ● 08 Mar ’21 >
632. Maggie Murphy’s please park prettily exp
You can park better than that ● 07 Feb ’22 >
633. three-ee blice verse
Three blind mice
…from the nursery rhyme ● 26 May ’21 >
634. where’s the yucky bowl? exp
This meal is not entirely palatable ● 23 Apr ’21 >
635. my aunt, having made a telephone call, is feeling very much better exp
Mischievous mistranslation of the French expression Tant pis, tant mieux ● 27 Jan ’22 >
636. splash and dash n
Quick foray to the grocery shop ● 01 Jan ’22 >
637. le chien retourne a son propre vomissement exp
The dog returns to its own vomit ● 19 Jul ’21 >
638. cronky donkey n
Decrepit railway train, especially an old DMU ● 06 Mar ’21 >
639. I remember being in Scotland verse
A callback to the song fragment:
I remember being in Scotland
Shooting peas up a nanny goat’s bottom
…to the tune of Men of Harlech ● 25 May ’21 >
640. playback n
The luggage area of an estate car ● 08 Mar ’21 >
641. fok strongbody adj
Powerful, strong, intense ● 03 Mar ’21 >
642. operator n
One practised at getting her/his/their own way ● 18 Mar ’22 >
643. perslongings n
Possessions ● 10 Mar ’22 >
644. who’s “she” – the cat’s mother? exc
Refer to women by their names, not pronouns! ● 03 Apr ’21 >
645. one-legged Santa at an arse kicking party n
A now-retired Christmas decoration in Reading town centre ● 30 Jun ’22 >
646. Teetee de Boof n
Tête de Bœuf restaurant in Wootton Wawen, Warwickshire ● 05 Mar ’22 >
647. Useless n
James Joyce’s Ulysses ● 13 May ’22 >
648. vulture capitalist n
Venture capitalist ● 05 Dec ’21 >
649. your tiny hand is frozen! verse
Your hand (not necessarily tiny) is frozen ● 09 Mar ’21 >
650. like Lot’s wife adj
Emerging profusely (of salt) ● 17 Jul ’22 >
651. I Clavdivs n
I, Claudius, the book of Robert Graves ● 29 Jul ’21 >
652. pumpkin time n
Bed time ● 21 Nov ’21 >
653. teaching wolves to chase sledges exp
Misguided negotiation technique of making a concession without requiring the other party to do the same ● 03 Mar ’22 >
654. one up, one down, one polisher exp
British Army heuristic for lavatory paper usage ● 29 Jan ’22 >
655. priest car n
Morris Minor ● 05 Dec ’21 >
656. pimps adj
Easy ● 27 Feb ’23 >
657. it’s no skin off my teeth exp
I am not affected by this ● 04 Sep ’21 >
658. Ministry of Tidy Ruins n
Generic term for English Heritage, Historic Scotland and similar organisations dedicated to setting the ragged remains of long-gone buildings in neatly trimmed grass ● 04 Sep ’21 >
659. uninvited guest at every conversation n
TV ● 05 Jul ’21 >
660. hopsital n
Hospital ● 27 Mar ’21 >
661. then on Friday… no, tell a lie, it was the Saturday exp
Caricature of that particular variety of storytelling that is long on irrelevant detail and short on, well, story ● 22 Mar ’21 >
662. loggy sticks n
Logistics ● 17 Mar ’21 >
663. flopsam & jepsam n
Flotsam & jetsam ● 03 Mar ’21 >
664. PAC n
1) Pissing awful coffee.
2) Pa’s awful coffee
…depending on the audience ● 13 Apr ’21 >
665. Suss-ar-ekal! exc
Pa’s take on his father’s take on a Sikh battle cry ● 09 Mar ’22 >
666. ouzo n
Ozone ● 07 Nov ’21 >
667. when I was a little girl like you… exp
Pa’s teasing approach to storytelling:
Pa: When I was a little girl like you…
Small ♀: You weren’t a little girl!
Pa: Then, when I was a little boy like you…
Small ♀: But I am not a little boy!
↻ repeat until one party cracks ● 09 Mar ’22 >
668. nice parking job, big guy! exc
I am deeply unimpressed with your attempt at parking ● 17 Sep ’21 >
669. shot a bunny v
Passed wind ● 29 Mar ’21 >
670. Sister / Brother exp
Useful device for addressing someone when you’ve forgotten their name ● 08 Mar ’22 >
671. talkie-walkie n
Walkie-talkie ● 27 Apr ’21 >
672. snot harpoon n
Nasal swab ● 07 Nov ’21 >
673. what mind is here o’erthrown exp
That is an uncharacteristically ill-considered remark, decision or action ● 23 Mar ’21 >
674. tassel n
Penis ● 19 Mar ’21 >
675. two-six exp
Cue for concerted action; same meaning as the more customary one-two-three ● 12 Jul ’22 >
676. soya sturvya exp
I am sorry to disturb you ● 03 Apr ’21 >
677. if I could walk that way I wouldn’t need the talcum powder exp
Response to “walk this way” ● 29 Dec ’22 >
678. you must give me the recipe exp
That meal was appalling ● 20 Mar ’21 >
679. tadpoles n
A musical score ● 02 Mar ’22 >
680. sof adj
Like soft, but softer ● 02 Mar ’21 >
681. Miss/Master Flum Bum n
Handy moniker for anyone whose name you can’t, at that moment, remember ● 06 Mar ’22 >
682. hollow legs adj
One capable of eating large amounts of food while remaining slender ● 05 Feb ’22 >
683. pune or play on words n
Pun or wordplay ● 21 Mar ’21 >
684. snorker n
Sausage ● 23 Nov ’21 >
685. we’ve squeezed the goodness out of that exp
All the interesting or entertaining aspects of this topic have now been exhausted ● 01 Mar ’22 >
686. thoughcus n
A thought ● 17 Jul ’22 >
687. I thought we were having a PSA exp
Polite¹ way of saying “No, we’re not going out and stop making that racket”. PSA = peaceful Sunday afternoon ● 28 Feb ’23 >
688. light a candle to Saint Anthony exp
A thing to do when searching for a lost item ● 18 Mar ’22 >
689. slap it in the middle and we’ll all get a bit exp
I propose (or threaten) to serve this jelly, rice pudding, trifle or other osh by striking it in the middle with a ladle ● 19 Mar ’21 >
690. Tinkwinky Teapot n
The TV adaptation of The Aurora Teagarden Mysteries ● 17 Jul ’22 >
691. now mighty Caesar turned to clay might stop a wall to keep the wind away exp
We are all humbled in death ● 29 Jan ’22 >
692. oatygoats n
Goats ● 07 Apr ’21 >
693. sparkling plugs n
Spark plugs ● 27 Apr ’21 >
694. zlotniks n
A wedgie ● 12 Mar ’21 >
695. Stirling Moss, chica/chico! exc
Goodness me, you seem to be driving exuberantly today ● 02 Mar ’21 >
696. B-fart n
Beef heart, an allegedly scrumptious type of offal ● 18 Aug ’23 >
697. richtigetonneohnenachbarnprüfenstolz n
The pride felt at putting out the right bin without first checking what the neighbours have done ● 14 Apr ’22 >
698. tisswiss for Mummy exp
Cue phrase for emptying a sleepy child during the night ● 13 May ’22 >
699. Horrids n
The retail emporium Harrods ● 03 Jul ’22 >
700. if you have been, thank you for listening exp
Customary end-of-gig sign-off of Simon Nicol, guitarist and founding member of the band Fairport Convention ● 12 Jul ’22 >
701. ontray! exc
Special version of “come in” for room service when in France… because the food comes on a tray ● 07 Apr ’21 >
702. I expect nothing. I fear nothing. I am free. exp
(What it says) ● 08 Mar ’22 >
703. longwe liklik exp
I have no idea how far away ● 28 Feb ’22 >
704. trypo n
Intentional typo for typo ● 05 Mar ’21 >
705. mozarella adj
Tight over the belly, typically of a man’s white shirt ● 30 Jun ’22 >
706. the gap towns n
Dorking, Woking, Reigate, Redhill, Guildford… ● 01 Jul ’22 >
707. tinkywinky adj
Cosy (of drama) ● 27 Aug ’23 >
708. I can walk from here exp
You have parked rather far from the kerb ● 11 Feb ’22 >
709. where we have been, no-one can tell exp
We have left this picnic spot, beach or other location as we found it – well done us ● 03 Mar ’21 >
710. jolly hockey sticks adj
Of school-age girls: Enthusiastic participant in sports, and in upholding unquestioningly the school’s stated values – not necessarily used admiringly ● 10 Jul ’22 >
711. well and truly sought after adj
Under pressure ● 08 Oct ’22 >
712. Riding to Llandudno on a charabanc… verse
Callback to:
Riding to Llandudno on a charabanc
Fifty miles an hour and we don’t care a hang
The engine’s full of petrol and the driver’s full of beer.
(If there was a next line we never heard it) ● 29 Dec ’22 >
713. Krapy Rubsnif n
Finsbury Park, a district of London ● 30 Jun ’22 >
714. looks like you’ve been working on it for eight hours exc
Forthright critique of a hair-do that’s closer to a hair-don’t ● 29 Dec ’21 >
715. that’s an acquired taste: you either like it or you don’t exp
I don’t like it ● 08 Mar ’22 >
716. maflingo n
Flamingo ● 05 Feb ’22 >
717. mexicakes n
Mexican pancakes when made at home from tortillas, mince, vegetables etc. ● 11 Aug ’21 >
718. the Marmalade Bush n
The Cinnamon Tree, an Indian restaurant in Mortimer near Reading that was a favourite with the Arthurs ● 24 Jan ’23 >
719. law of diminishing astonishment n
The process by which we become less and less impressed by ever greater advances, especially in technology ● 05 Dec ’21 >
720. Hairy Pudder n
The fictional character Harry Potter ● 17 Jan ’22 >
721. if I wasn’t a gunner I wouldn’t be here exp
Timing phrase used by the gunner during a gun salute to ensure the bangs are evenly spaced ● 30 Jun ’22 >
722. Waly Disneq n
Walt Disney ● 07 Nov ’21 >
723. prickly pig n
Echidna, the spine-covered egg-laying mammal sometimes misleadingly known as spiny anteater ● 05 Mar ’22 >
724. Oyé n
Evelyn’s name for herself when she was known as Joyce (which was up to her late teens) ● 09 Mar ’22 >
725. holly bush n
Mythical physical laxative ● 10 Apr ’21 >
726. panty n
Pantograph (in the context of current collection) ● 30 Jun ’22 >
727. we are the cockyolly birds all red and green and gold verse
Fragment of a song Evelyn suddenly burst into after it sat dormant and unsung in her memory for 40 years ● 07 Mar ’22 >
728. seagull n
One whose style of management or participation is irregular and unhelpful ● 12 Nov ’23 >
729. your egg’s broken exp
One of the things I’m cooking is less perfect than the other and I’ve decided to give it to you ● 27 May ’21 >
730. no, it’s just the way I’m breathing exp
Time-honoured answer to the question “Are you coming?” ● 16 Mar ’21 >
731. sham-PAG-nee n
Champagne ● 20 Jan ’23 >
732. spanish Tourette’s n
The practice of unexpectedly swatting between the hands insects in flight that are too small for observers to see ● 07 Nov ’22 >
733. I’m taking it back exp
Granny’s almost invariable declaration on arriving home with a purchase ● 19 Mar ’22 >
734. RTFM exp
Read the manual (instead of bothering me) ● 02 Mar ’22 >
735. wo der Kaiser zu fuss geht n
The seat of ease, lavatory, boggo or whatever you choose to call it ● 28 Sep ’22 >
736. SLAB DISH PIG GUFF exp
Mnemonic for recalling the then-15 members of the EU ● 30 Jun ’22 >
737. three ha’p’orth of gawd help us exp
Disorganised, uncoordinated, a shambles ● 05 Mar ’21 >
738. hoist on his/her/your own door-bomb exp
Hoist on his/her/your own petard ● 20 Jul ’22 >
739. kabiss n
Cabbage ● 09 Mar ’22 >
740. not much of anything, but well and truly elegant exp
A more sophisticated and less substantial repast than usually appeared on the King family table ● 04 Mar ’22 >
741. honey money n
Proceeds of selling honey ● 28 Feb ’22 >
742. kiss me WHAT‽ exp
G’s reaction on being told we were off to the West End to see the musical Kiss Me Kate ● 19 Mar ’22 >
743. thermosk n
Vacuum flask ● 28 Sep ’22 >
744. madman in the attic exp
Negotiating technique along the lines of “I’d love to do that but the boss won’t let me” ● 03 Mar ’22 >
745. plug v
Conceal item in the rectum ● 05 Feb ’22 >
746. stabbing n
Blood test. Can also refer to an injection ● 23 Mar ’21 >
747. tall, dark and handsome… and slightly out of focus adj
The putative ideal qualities of an attractive woman’s male consort ● 20 Jul ’22 >
748. shith-ooze n
Seat of ease, convenience, lavatory ● 13 May ’22 >
749. the artist is making a joke exp
Its creator intended this to be funny or clever ● 18 Apr ’22 >
750. squashed fly biscuits n
Garibaldi biscuits, the ones with currants squashed between two thin rectangles of biscuit ● 06 Mar ’22 >
751. nucking futter n
One whose behaviour defies reason ● 05 Mar ’22 >
752. square eyes n
One who watches a lot of TV ● 02 Feb ’22 >
753. I laughed until I stopped exp
I didn’t laugh ● 01 Jul ’22 >
754. p-o-tat-oes verse
Callback to a song:
p-o-tat-oes O OOOO O OO ● 19 Mar ’22 >
755. thalassa! thalassa! exc
After many hours’ travel towards the seaside, there at last is the actual sea!
(thalassa = θαλασσα = sea) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
756. two minutes’ silence for the joke that just died exp
That was a terrible joke that deserved to fall as flat as it did ● 04 Mar ’22 >
757. Odgers n
The TV presenter Mister Rogers, whose show was a favourite of Joy’s when she was about 2-3 ● 31 Aug ’22 >
758. take the smooth with the rough v
After physical or mental exertion, relax without guilt ● 10 Jul ’22 >
759. park by ear v
Park a vehicle with a lack of care, attention and skill ● 30 Jun ’22 >
760. mingo n
Flamingo ● 13 May ’22 >
761. pictureskew adj
Picturesque ● 10 Mar ’22 >
762. if he fell into basin full of boobs he’d come out sucking his thumb exp
He is serially unlucky ● 28 Feb ’22 >
763. renana n
Banana ● 15 Nov ’22 >
764. put it away – nothing wrong with it exp
You are not unwell ● 01 Jul ’22 >
765. The Whizzer There Was n
The Wizard of Oz ● 18 Mar ’22 >
766. yuckerypoogens! exc
Indicates that a thing is more than ordinarily messy or disgusting ● 10 Jul ’22 >
767. Tony Tortoise n
Actor & TV presenter Tony Robinson ● 30 Jun ’22 >
768. Mulligan’s Tyres n
Mull of Kintyre ● 30 Jun ’22 >
769. vollyvongs n
The small puff pastry cases known as vols-au-vent, used for appetisers and desserts ● 01 Jul ’22 >
770. on the way to Meeting, I saw a butterfly and it reminded me of God exp
Ministry at a Quaker Meeting at Sidcot School, executed for a bet ● 01 Mar ’22 >
771. whin n
Gooseberry ● 07 Nov ’22 >
772. we won’t have to go to Wales now I brung yer ’ere exp
Now we have seen this poor model, imitation or ersatz version, we won’t have to visit the real thing ● 20 Jul ’22 >
773. which wind begins with F? exp
Callback to a question asked while trying to figure out how to play mah jong ● 07 Nov ’22 >
774. prat flaps n
A particular type of men’s open leather sandal, especially if large, droopy and worn with socks ● 18 Apr ’22 >
775. whipper snipper n
String trimmer, the powered tool for trimming grass and brush. ● 28 Sep ’22 >
776. Moses n
The most elastic man in the christian bible ● 18 Apr ’22 >
777. Whydofools n
The amber ale Doom Bar ● 31 Aug ’22 >
778. spider n
The green bit of stalk on a tomato ● 08 Oct ’22 >
779. in heated agreement adj
When people are arguing vehemently for their own point of view without realising that they coincide ● 10 Jul ’22 >
780. I did not know that death had undone so many exp
Blimey, what a lot of people! Generally used when caught up in a pressing crowd, or observing a teeming throng ● 01 Jul ’22 >
781. T-rain n
Train ● 15 Nov ’22 >
782. it’s not rocket surgery exp
It’s not difficult ● 08 Oct ’22 >
783. sound as a pound adj
Highly reliable. Also: In very good health ● 05 Feb ’22 >
784. if you can’t trivialise it it’s not worth saying exp
Don’t treat TV reportage as accurate ● 27 Feb ’23 >
785. Pope scuttle n
Passetto di Borgo, the 800 metre concealed passageway that connects the Vatican to Castel Sant’Angelo for purposes of running away ● 30 Jul ’23 >
786. sorry-pardon exc
I trust you will forgive my trivial error ● 03 Jul ’22 >
787. long may your big jib draw exp
Wishing you a happy and successful life ● 19 Mar ’22 >
788. I lift up my finger and I say tweet tweet verse
Callback to:
I lift up my finger and I say tweet tweet, shush shush, come come, now now.
I don’t think we ever worked out what prompted a recital… ● 29 Dec ’22 >
789. the nut holding the steering wheel n
The driver of a road vehicle ● 31 Aug ’22 >
790. Mount Toberead n
The pile/stack/tower/mountain of books that a person wishes to read ● 31 Aug ’22 >
791. Japanese jibble-jobs n
The sweet, savoury & crunchy party snack otherwise known (in UK at least) as Oriental Mix ● 20 Jun ’23 >
792. worms’ boggin’ holes n
Worm casts on a lawn ● 28 Sep ’22 >
793. like a goanna up a gum tree adj
Disappearing fast ● 27 Sep ’22 >
794. QB n
That feeling of numbness that can result from sitting still for an hour ● 28 Sep ’22 >
795. noy adv
1. Now
2. No ● 28 Sep ’22 >
796. no, it was a new one exp
Response to “was it an omen?” ● 10 Jul ’22 >
797. pushen n
Cushion ● 29 Dec ’22 >
798. pither v
Waste time; engage in displacement activities; avoid a task ● 28 Feb ’23 >
799. nim n
Niece or nephew ● 18 Aug ’23 >
800. pas de freinage violent inutile exp
Drive carefully ● 08 Oct ’22 >
801. pif-pof-paf n
A ruleless, winnerless game that can be seen on beaches throughout Europe. It involves 3 or more people hitting a ball between them with wooden bats ● 31 Aug ’22 >
802. SA0 n
One lacking in situational awareness ● 28 Feb ’23 >
803. premium bomb n
Premium Bond, a savings product of UK’s NS&I ● 15 Nov ’22 >
804. the telephone upon the wall verse
Callback to:
The telephone upon the wall
Is useful when you want to call
Just push the buttons on the front
And hold the mouthpiece to your face ● 30 Nov ’22 >
805. organ donor n
Cyclist ● 08 Oct ’22 >
806. kwinoa n
Phonetic pronunciation of Quinoa ● 22 Oct ’23 >
807. vogon adj
Vegan ● 07 Nov ’22 >
808. optical illusion, man! exp
It is an optical illusion ● 27 Feb ’23 >
809. knicker picker n
Picnic ● 20 Jan ’23 >
810. kettle n
Steam locomotive ● 12 Nov ’23 >
811. queece n
Breast meat (aka white meat) of a roast fowl ● 16 Nov ’22 >
812. kiwi n
Kilowatt-hour (kWh) ● 24 Apr ’23 >
813. I thought you were complaining about the bouzouki exp
I could make no sense of what you just said ● 06 Sep ’23 >
814. north-south-west n
New South Wales ● 22 Oct ’23 >
815. trough v
Eat ● 29 Dec ’22 >
816. rattle your dags! exc
Get a move on! ● 12 Jul ’22 >
817. the value of your investment can fall as well as plummet exp
Mantra of the risk-averse ● 29 Dec ’22 >
818. Ikea name n
A person’s first name modified in a particular way ● 24 Jan ’23 >
819. like the fat lady – all behind exp
In arrears or running late ● 27 Feb ’23 >
820. Li Phook n
The East Asian village in Hampshire otherwise known as Liphook ● 01 Jan ’23 >
821. the good ship Slap-it-with-a-ruler exp
Meaning obscure, but it tended to be wheeled out when ships were spoken of ● 12 Nov ’23 >
822. King Midas has ass’s ears exp
The sound of rustling grasses ● 24 Jan ’23 >
823. un joo lating adj
Undulating, usually in reference to rolling hills ● 20 Jan ’23 >
824. down the red lane! exp
Eat your food, child! ● 23 Nov ’23 >
825. noddles n
Noodles ● 27 Feb ’23 >
826. smoko n
Morning tea, especially when taken in a shearing shed ● 15 Nov ’22 >
827. whearr be ye to? exp
Where are you? ● 27 Feb ’23 >
828. optometrist method n
A/B testing, in which users of a system, product or idea under development are asked “is it better like this… or like this?” ● 24 Apr ’23 >
829. Smoky Tree, the n
The vast ancient yew tree & friend in the middle of the meadow at Sheepleas that Iliffs would climb and sit in, or use as a pavilion, when youngsters ● 10 Mar ’23 >
830. le très chose n
Just the thing I was seeking ● 18 Aug ’23 >
831. cheerum chorum chaw chocalorum verse
Callback to:
Cheerum chorum chaw chocalorum
Pinga Ninga nee-nay
Pinga ninga nay
Very werry goshy washy tie tie tingo
Very werry goshy washy
Goshy washy tingo
…or something along those lines ● 23 Nov ’23 >
832. subtropical swimming paradise n
Swimming pool with doodads ● 11 Sep ’23 >
833. underneath-th-th n
A woman’s ladyparts ● 24 Jan ’23 >
834. left hand down a bit exp
A navigation direction given when unsure, or to suggest that the navigator is unsure ● 29 Oct ’23 >
835. william-nilliam adv
Willy-nilly, which is to say haphazardly ● 30 Jul ’23 >
836. redbrick n
A consequence of eating beetroot ● 30 Jul ’23 >
837. shitzu n
A zoo without penguins ● 12 Nov ’23 >
838. manchester n
Household linen ● 22 Oct ’23 >
839. spearmint wino n
Problem drinker who erroneously believes that sucking a mint will hide the alcohol on their breath ● 27 Feb ’23 >
840. in all my born days adv
Ever ● 18 Aug ’23 >
841. if you can’t help don’t hinder exp
Rebuke for an offspring whose attempts to be helpful prove unsuccessful ● 24 Apr ’23 >
842. PLAN AHE exp
Plan ahead ● 26 Aug ’23 >
843. pron exp
Can be used both for “Please would you turn on the printer” and for “I have now turned on the printer, my love” ● 22 Oct ’23 >
844. popular beat combo n
A group or band that has enjoyed some success in the singles charts ● 29 Oct ’23 >
845. Lord Jesus hangs on a peg. Which peg does he hang on? exp
Deeply philosophical question posed by Felix aged about 6 when hanging a pine cone on the Christmas tree ● 24 Apr ’23 >
846. that’s pissed on me chips! exp
Crikey, that occurrence has confounded my endeavours! ● 21 Aug ’23 >
847. on the wonk adj
Askew ● 10 Sep ’23 >
848. the crow makes wing to th’ rooky wood verse
Light thickens,
and the crow makes wing to th’ rooky wood.
Good things of day begin to droop and drowse;
While night’s black agents to their preys do rouse.
—Shakespeare’s Macbeth, Act III scene 2 ● 20 Jun ’23 >
849. stunned mullet n
One ill-suited to an employment, and apparently unaware of it ● 17 Sep ’23 >
850. zembil n
Large basket, tub, trug or storage bucket ● 30 Jul ’23 >
851. hot bottyflosher n
Cleansing lavatory of the kind often associated with Japan. Apt to be sold elsewhere as a Smart toilet ● 21 Aug ’23 >
852. let’s put the roof on first… exp
That task is being undertaken in an inauspicious sequence ● 05 Sep ’23 >
853. imaginary friend n
A god ● 13 Sep ’23 >
854. swing-door face n
One who enjoys eating out ● 22 Oct ’23 >
855. in days gone by adv
In the past ● 18 Aug ’23 >
856. if you enjoyed it half as much... exp
Callback to the saying “If you enjoyed it half as much as we did, then we enjoyed it twice as much as you” ● 13 Sep ’23 >
857. is it not passing fair to be a King and ride in triumph through Persepolis? exp
I am pleased ● 11 Sep ’23 >
858. Nacirema n
The subject of a satirical article Pa once read in which an anthropologist reports upon the weird rituals of a tribe, before eventually revealing that they are none other than Americans ● 17 Sep ’23 >
859. palanquin hee, palanquin ho exp
Bonding cry – no meaning ● 12 Nov ’23 >
860. stiffie n
A 3½ inch diskette, an obsolete removable storage medium for computers capable of storing 1·44 MB of data, or about a quarter of a typical 2023 digital photo ● 30 Jul ’23 >
861. prunt v
Printed ● 21 Aug ’23 >
862. lubricants n
Pedestrians who unwittingly help motorists exit a side road by using a crossing on the main road ● 30 Jul ’23 >
863. doobry n
Thingummy. Doohickey. Item that need not be named because it is identified by the context.
Can also be used when the speaker can’t recall the name of an item ● 25 Nov ’23 >
864. horse apples n
Horse shit ● 22 Oct ’23 >
865. there are gazelles in the thicket exp
Your beard contains unwanted matter ● 03 Sep ’23 >
866. big organs run in the family exp
Gleefully puerile response to use of the word organ ● 25 Nov ’23 >
867. showing all you possess adj
Wearing immodest clothing ● 23 Nov ’23 >
868. sweat cobs v
Sweat profusely ● 23 Nov ’23 >
869. with two plombs adj
With consummate poise and assurance ● 25 Nov ’23 >
870. include me out exp
I do not wish to participate in this activity, thank you ● 23 Nov ’23 >
871. Poppa Piccolino n
Granny’s pet name for Pop ● 23 Nov ’23 >
872. Vladdy the Baddy n
Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, sometime thug and latterly president of Russia… and thug ● 25 Nov ’23 >
873. Lontink n
London ● 25 Nov ’23 >
874. turn the knob on your side exp
Consciously unhelpful advice to someone struggling to get a door open. The ritual reply is “I haven’t got a knob on my side” ● 25 Nov ’23 >
875. it’s just an if-statement exp
Satirical take on people who expect software to perform miracles without having the first idea of what’s involved ● 30 Nov ’23 >
876. mollydooker n
A left-handed person, a southpaw ● 03 Dec ’23 >
877. barsteward n
Bastard (in its pejorative rather than descriptive sense) ● 03 Dec ’23 >
878. plup in a cup v
Provide a semen sample ● 07 Jan >
879. I could have cooked at home exp
Rebuke for anyone who chooses the same dish as someone else at the table when eating out ● 30 Nov ’23 >
880. mardy adj
Sulky, whiny ● 07 Jan >
881. pasteurised is best exp
Reflexive response to use of the word pasteurised ● 07 Jan >
882. Liztrak n
The Elizabeth Line, the west ⇌ east cross-London rail service ● 03 Dec ’23 >
883. Grauniad n
The UK-based newspaper The Guardian ● 30 Nov ’23 >
884. land of hopeless Tories verse
Line to be sung to the tune of Elgar’s jingoistic roundelay Land of hope and glory ● 07 Jan >
885. squabble & beak n
Edited¹: The Westerhoff version of bubble & squeak, comprising shallow-fried leftover potatoes and cabbage ● 07 Jan >
886. front loader n
Bra with a zip at the front ● 07 Jan >
887. full-fat electricity n
Electricity from an EV rapid charger ● 07 Jan >
888. I saw Esau sitting an a seesaw verse
It was just one of those things grown-ups would come out with from time to time ● 07 Jan >
889. sixpence! exp
Exclaimed at top volume by the first person at a meal to find a bone in their fish ● 07 Jan >
890. cigar-shaped aluminum tube in the sky n
Aeroplane ● 07 Jan >
891. back dazzler n
A vehicle’s high-intensity rear foglight, especially when used at night in the wet ● 07 Jan >
892. bingbongabangbang exp
I predict the credits will roll, or an ad break will start, in the next few seconds (when watching TV) ● 07 Jan >
893. I have had an elegant sufficiency exp
Used when turning down a second (or subsequent) helping at table ● 07 Jan >
894. leave it to cook exp
Said while waiting for digital data to download/transfer ● 07 Jan >
895. Copper Pisspot, The n
The Golden Cross hotel & restaurant in a courtyard off Cornmarket, Oxford ● 07 Jan >
896. scraper n
Violin ● 07 Jan >
897. let it cuik! exp
If you have an infected bite or splinter, or a boil or carbuncle, put a plaster on and let it take its course ● 21 Jan >
898. kom bibi, bibi! exp
Swiss German summoning cry for chickens, to be yelled at a high pitch and volume when serving them household scraps ● 07 Jan >
899. 0000 n
Location where everything is alright. Specifically the sofa Joy sits on at home ● 12 Feb >
900. Stephen Physics n
1. Personification of physics
2. Any physical law that provides an obstacle in life ● 12 Feb >
901. Dr Thos n
A particular hot water bottle at Shelford ● 21 Jan >
902. let’s find out, shall we? exp
Response to “do you know what you’re doing?” ● 25 Jan >
903. one goat! exp
OK, I made a mistake. But I feel you’re attaching too much importance to it ● 21 Jan >
904. festive gooch n
The period between Christmas & New Year when almost the whole of UK is on holiday ● 06 Jan >
905. ducklings n
Collective term for various waifs and strays in one’s life ● 12 Feb >
906. tasting diamonds v
The experience of breathing in very cold air ● 12 Feb >
907. Kahula n
The flavoured alcohol more commonly known as Kahlúa ● 12 Feb >
908. he seems nice exp
He seems odious ● 25 Jan >
909. put the lumps in the gravy v
Make the gravy ● 25 Jan >
910. Steve n
The UK restaurant chain Bella Italia (formerly Bella Pasta) ● 11 Feb >
911. oslo n
An instrumental solo during a song ● 21 Jan >
912. bumcack n
Comeback ● 21 Jan >
913. put fur/hair round it! exc
You seem to be having problem getting this thing in the appropriate hole - perhaps if it was more akin to a more biological insertion you would have more success. ● 12 Feb >
914. automagically adv
Automatically, and with impressive élan ● 21 Jan >
915. Miss Moppett n
Aunt D’s pet name for her neice Kate Collard (later Baines, later Tomato) ● 21 Jan >
916. _y-tiger adj
Completed with the relationship e.g. mummy/wifey/spousey to mean being naturally protective of someone with whom you have that relationship ● 12 Feb >
917. fimsy n
Gentle fun wordplay ● 12 Feb >
918. sadlydie v
Die ● 21 Jan >
919. mental floss n
A brain teaser or exercise undertaken to develop mental acuity ● 21 Jan >
920. Floss n
Clare’s pet name for her daughter Eve ● 21 Jan >
921. head-canon n
Information about an intellectual property that is not explicitly in the text but is in one’s head to explain away an inconsistency/fill in a detail ● 12 Feb >
922. tiny dragon n
The strange throat grumblings/squeakings/croakings made by an active digestive system ● 12 Feb >
923. on pots hooray! exc
1. You have finally understood the thing I have been walking you to that I think is obvious.
2. We are looking at some ancient pottery including some form of decoration.
3. We are about to watch The Great Pottery Throwdown (more recent usage) ● 12 Feb >
924. spoons n
The time and headspace required for a proposed undertaking ● 11 Feb >
925. the blind Doges of Venice exp
Response to any reference to Venice, blind, blinds or dogs ● 21 Jan >
926. tramampoline n
Trampoline ● 12 Feb >
927. horse droppings n
A hairstyle in which the hair is drawn up to sit on top of the head in multiple blobs ● 21 Jan >
928. tronken adj
Drunk ● 12 Feb >
929. as innocent as a nun at a bus stop exp
To all appearances, throughly innocuous ● 11 Feb >
930. that’s your shauri! exp
That is your problem / issue ● 21 Jan >
931. kelp adj
Happy to go with the flow ● 12 Feb >
932. Wert n
A bird sculpted in alabaster by Mum ● 11 Feb >
933. aprishotts n
Apricots ● 11 Feb >
934. Mangerton (going) n
Finally snapping and expressing one’s wordless anger - particularly if this is due to moving goalposts ● 12 Feb >
935. Pawdawfawdy n
The main bus terminal in New York ● 11 Feb >
936. my colleague of the sandpit exp
A playmate whose name escaped young Benno ● 11 Feb >
937. visitors! Not visitors AGAIN! verse
Refrain in a poem the 7-year-old Naomi wrote expressing the kids’ dislike of the use of their home as a University Visitors’ Centre by Pa ● 21 Jan >
938. cock-a-leg n
Scottish traditional dancing ● 21 Jan >
939. kumu n
Greens ● 21 Jan >
940. Claypots n
Nickname of the Claydon family ● 11 Feb >
941. shusho exp
Expression used when walking with tiny steps, as when traversing ice or other slippery surface ● 11 Feb >
942. Piglet n
Affectionate name for Eve, the youngest member of the Claydon family ● 11 Feb >
943. bish n
A forgivable mistake ● 02 Apr >
944. well that barrel didn’t need scraping exp
This work is eploitative, deceptive, manipulative, inept or otherwise objectionable… and to an even greater degree than previous similar works ● 02 Apr >
945. enough blue to make a pair of sailor’s trousers exp
The sky might appear grey from horizon to horizon, but if you look carefully there are patches of blue ● 02 Apr >
946. pitiless bottom n
One much given to pungent farts ● 02 Apr >
947. Eugene One-Gin n
Евгений Онегин, the young dandy from St Petersberg featured in Pushkin’s novel & Tchaikovsky’s opera Eugene Onegin ● 02 Apr >
948. blue and green should never be seen except on a donkey’s back exp
Style guidance ● 02 Apr >
949. Botticchrachi n
Botticelli, the noted Italian painter noted for his nudes ● 02 Apr >
950. sarandoppity n
Serendipity ● 02 Apr >
951. no one knows me in Melbourne, so it doesn’t matter what I wear. Everyone knows me in Yarragon, so it doesn’t matter what I wear! exp
There’s no need to dress smartly ● 04 Apr >
952. mece exp
Mutually exclusive, collectively exhaustive ● 05 May >
953. minion n
Urinal deodoriser block ● 05 May >
954. bog lolly n
Urinal deodoriser block ● 05 May >
955. helmetball n
American football ● 05 May >
956. that’s easy for you to say exp
Used to someone who has just struggled to express an idea ● 05 May >
957. what has it got in its pocketses? exp
What do you have in your pocket? (or What does that person have in their pocket?) ● 04 May >
958. wankpalazzo n
Stately home ● 04 May >
959. priffs n
Peripheral vision ● 04 May >
960. curioxity n
Curiosity ● 05 May >
961. belten our tights exp
Tighten our belts ● 04 May >
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Iliff-King phrasebook